HOWLERS

A lot of junk e-mailers can't write proper English! Leaving aside
the thorny question of whether split infinitives are legit, here
are a few blatant errors for you to spot.

ADVANCE APOLOGY: I have approached this subject from the
viewpoint of a British English speaker. Please feel free to
rebuke me if I have unwittingly discriminated against normal
American usage.

Suggested answers at the end.

               --------------------------------

1. Did you ever wonder why some people are wealthy while ours are
always low on funds?

2. We used to do business only with corporations but now we are
serving everyone who decided to save a lot of money next time you
travel.

3. Imagine go to the most expensive hotels for the price of an
average hotel?

4. Is seeing to believe! We used to do business only with
businesses and now we are serving the public!

5. To insure you receive your copy, order today!

6. Without freedom of speech, WE HAVE LOST EVERYTHING our society
stands for.

7. Your good credit with GlobeCard [NB name changed] will be
reported to the credit bureau's, which will show your excellent
credit!

8. How much does this unit costs?

9. ORDER FROM THIS EMAIL FORM & RECIEVE AS A BONUS:

10. Gain back your self-esteem and piece-of-mind by ordering ...

11. Your the best, Jason...

                      SUGGESTED ANSWERS:

1. Did you ever wonder why some people are wealthy while ours are
always low on funds?

A: Should be "Have you ever wondered...?" (present perfect) when
asking about a non-time-specific experience. (Though I have often
seen the past simple used in this context in American English.)

2. We used to do business only with corporations but now we are
serving everyone who decided to save a lot of money next time you
travel.

A: Unclear: are they really saying, in effect, "we'll wait until
next time you decide to travel before serving everyone who
decided to save a lot of money?" Or is everyone else waiting till
the next time you travel before they decide to save a lot of
money??

3. Imagine go to the most expensive hotels for the price of an
average hotel?

A: Should be "Imagine going.."

4. Is seeing to believe! We used to do business only with
businesses and now we are serving the public!

A: Should be "Seeing is believing!"

5. To insure you receive your copy, order today!

A: Should be "ensure"; "insure" is what you do to your car or
your life.

6. Without freedom of speech, WE HAVE LOST EVERYTHING our society
stands for.

A: Should be: "WE LOSE", or "WE WILL LOSE". Or have we already
lost our freedom of speech, and with it everything our society
stands for? Depends on where you live, but this extract referred
to the U.S.

7. Your good credit with WorldCard will be reported to the credit
bureau's, which will show your excellent credit!

A: The plural of "bureau" is either "bureaus" or "bureaux", but
not the Saxon genitive form.

8. How much does this unit costs?

A: Aaagghhh!

9. ORDER FROM THIS EMAIL FORM & RECIEVE AS A BONUS:

A: receive?

10. Gain back your self-esteem and piece-of-mind by ordering ...

A: Er... possibly peace-of-mind?

11. Your the best, Jason...

A: Should be "You're"